


Fever

by rainbowcowboy



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Introspection, basically he monologues about himself and then dies, byakuya togami’s unused execution
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:54:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,336
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23958010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rainbowcowboy/pseuds/rainbowcowboy
Summary: Even Gods can be killed if their disciples lose faith.
Relationships: Naegi Makoto/Togami Byakuya (if you really squint)
Comments: 5
Kudos: 103





	Fever

"When you have it good for too long, it’s just a matter of time before some huge catastrophe comes and levels the playing field again. Fate marches on a cyclical path, building and destroying as it sees fit to keep the world in constant turmoil. Karma does not see, it only gives and takes. It takes, and takes, and takes.

“I am Byakuya Togami, god amongst mortals, flawless and unbreakable, and I am dying. After all my sacrifice, all I have given, I am dying. My world of despair ends not with a celebration of my legacy, but with cold hatred in the heart of loneliness. I am dying with nothing but the feeble memories of my peers to keep me around, framed in rotten ideas and perceptions of me which I only reinforce by my despicable actions. Those of such simple minds will never understand what I was willing to give in order to prevail. They will remember me as a villainous murderer, not a noble man of sacrifice…

… How fitting.”

He sat slumped against a rock, the only landmark in a frigid, snow coated wasteland. The only thing out here was himself and his suffering. The cold crawled into his wounds and settled there to sleep, dragging him down with it. Violent shivers ripped through his body, a pathetic attempt to find any warmth. It hindered his speech, but he couldn’t stop talking.

“You all heard what I said. I- In the pits of despair, I allowed my heart to melt through the walls I’ve built it. Now, th- the tearing wind serves to not only further…  _ ngh-  _ further break my bones and my spirit, but to rub my  _ stupid _ exposed heart raw. Th- the pain tenderizes me, makes me- me soft with exhaustion and saps my drive to resist. It prepares me to become the n- the next great hecatombe to she who we call fate. Or... more appropriately, despair. In her unseeing eyes, I have prospered t- too long. If only s- sh- she knew, or could pretend to know, an… an inkling of the misery in my core I’ve harbored, just so I could p- pretend to prosper like the world wanted me to.”

  
  
  
  
  


He remembered the courtroom. The verdict was out, the guess was right. Byakuya Togami was a murderer. 

In his frustration and fury, he’d bent over his podium like he’d been struck in the back. Tears pricked his eyes and threatened to fall. 

_ How could you all, _ he’d snarled.  _ How could you cut short a life so important?  _

The others stood in solemn, mournful silence, watching his icy demeanor melt away before them.

He looked up.  _ How could you let me fail? How  _ dare  _ you make all my sacrifices for nothing? _

Someone’s voice said,  _ Sacrifices? You killed one of our friends and for what, so you could escape and kill the rest of us? That’s selfish murder, not sacrifice! _

_ DON’T PRETEND TO KNOW WHAT I’VE DONE,  _ he cried. Whoever spoke lept back in shock. His fists gripped the podium so tight that his knuckles looked sick and broken. 

_ Ever since I was a child, my mother told me, ‘Succeed, Byakuya. Bring honor to this family. Live the legacy your siblings never can’. When I left home, still just a boy, I promised I would do just that. I never looked back and I never saw my mother again.  _

  
  
  
  


Hot tears slipped down his cheeks and froze before they could drop from his chin. He shook like a dying leaf in winter gusts, clinging to his rock pitifully, but his body burned with pain and heat and effort. 

  
  
  
  


_ In order to impress my father, whom I’d never met, I gave myself new names and identities. I let myself be mocked and looked down upon because I passed as a woman. I lived a fake life. I let my half-siblings die, and watched unfeeling because I knew it would get me one step closer to winning. I  _ had  _ to win.  _

_ All that, just to be taken in by a man who didn’t love me and never would and saw me as a subordinate, not a son. A man who criticized my every move and shaped me like clay; who hit me and showed me horrors just so I could be the perfect heir. I stood by and endured it because I had already given up everything, why not a bit more, just to be perfect? I was to be CEO, to be president, to be king. I knew this and I knew I needed to be flawless.  _

_ Murder does not scare me like it scares you. I wasn’t lying when I declared this all a game to me; I’ve been through it, seen the atrocities of it all, with my own family. I’ve killed before, so that I may uphold the legacy of my family. Why would I shy away from it now, when all my sacrifices are on the line? When my wretched life could lead to nothing but a worthless end? Why would I let my family’s name die alone in some insignificant school of horrors?  _

_ I put myself through hell, because diamonds are only formed under the most horrible pressure. Torture produces a brighter soul. I’ve experienced things— I’ve done things you f- fucking amoebas can’t even hope to comprehend, and all for it to be cut short by your insolent little games of detective. All of it for nothing. I hope you-  _ he looked right at Makoto Naegi, that short boy with soft hair and more smarts than anyone would expect; someone he used to respect-  _ remember this for the rest of your worthless lives, and remember you ended someone who was destined to live forever.  _

Then the others had spoken, and he hadn’t listened. He only paid attention to Makoto’s haunted face as Monokuma dragged him away. 

  
  


Life was bleeding out of his body, and fast. Each and every one of his muscles burned with the pain of resisting succumbing to the climate and his wounds. With each gasping, ragged breath, cold air dragged into his lungs and crystallized inside his body. He couldn’t move. It was so cold. He was so hot. 

Slowly, he slumped down to a crumpled ball in the snow. His muscles breathed a momentary sigh of relief, but his untamable shuddering only started the hurt up again. This was cruel, no human deserved this. 

But then again, he had spent so much time convincing himself he was God. As soon as humans lost their faith in their gods, those immortal beings lost their lives, faded away. Would he fade from history like some unworthy deity…?

...Did he deserve that?

Makoto stood above him, his face just as filled with hopelessness as it had been when Byakuya was taken to his death. He must be hallucinating. Bled into Makoto’s face was that of his victim— victims. Those whose corpses still lay fresh, coated in blood, and those already forgotten by time and legacy. They swam through his features, melting in and out. 

Eventually, holding his head up hurt too much, and he fell weakly to the floor. He felt like a failure. 

In a broken whisper, he pleaded, “I’m… so sorry….” He knew the students were watching and they’d heard his monologue moments prior. Could they hear his apologies? Would they care?

“ _ Nh- _ ‘m sorry…. I… I’m so sorry… s-sorry…” His voice faded from a whisper to a breath, to nothing, his lips moving weakly around what raspy sounds he could force out. He could still see Makoto’s sneakers out of the corner of his eyes. He hoped his victims had heard him. 

He tried to turn towards Makoto, sapping the last of his strength. The burning cold reached its apex. He uttered a mute scream as everything failed; his destiny, his dreams, his body. 

For a moment, he felt relief as his muscles relaxed, before silent death closed his eyes and any feeling in his body faded to absolute nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> I REALLY LOVE BYAKUYA i rarely write shit like this but i was in the mood . usually i treat him better !!!!!! inspired by “before the fever” by grimes which is literally a song about someone dying . check out my twitter @_sunsgone


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